


water in your eyes

by LoonyLupin



Series: Chapter and Verse (Varric Tethras x Min Hawke) [18]
Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Letters, Post-Dragon Age II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 07:04:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13805997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/LoonyLupin
Summary: After the Chantry, Min Hawke promised to run away with Anders, despite the distance that had been steadily growing between them.Sometimes, promises are made to be broken.  No matter how painful it may be.(Hawke/Anders, with hints toward eventual Hawke/Varric.)





	water in your eyes

In the end, clarity entered her mind like a cold-blooded killer; watching, waiting on the outside of her consciousness long before it slipped inside.  But once it was there, she found herself electrified.  It took her love and she watched it fade, and it felt like the death struck in the space of an instant. **  
**

Even though the act was long, long, in the making.

 

* * *

 

> _I feel… pithed.  I don’t know who I am anymore.  I love him because I remember the man before me, the look in his eyes; damn it, I’ll always love him.  It’s why I haven’t – Some semblance of that man is here still, behind revolution and truth and Justice burning bright, but there is nothing left for me, no matter how I try to reach him.  And Maker, how I’ve tried._
> 
> _Is it weak of me to leave, despite my promise?_

 

Min Hawke stared at her letter for a moment, then hastily folded it into thirds.  The candle trembled in her hand, red wax dripping on the folded edge, and she scrawled an address in glistening ink.

 

* * *

 

Anders set aside a brace of rabbits, conjuring campfire with a moment’s glance.  “There’ll be enough for you and Molossus,” he said, trying to smile.  It looked foreign on his face, like he’d forgotten going through the motions.

“But what about you?” she asked.  The campfire smoldered.  It crackled.  The rabbits stared at them with dead eyes, and the Mabari whined, covering his nose with his paw.

“Don’t worry about me,” said Anders.  She looked at his soft eyes, his gentle gaze.  She recognized that look, attempted reassurance.  It rang falser than the smile.

“I can’t help worrying,” said Hawke quietly.  “You’ve got to eat.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said, and he got up to sit against a tree on the edge of camp, keeping watch.  He did not look back at her.

She crisped the rabbits in the fire, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, and the little bones crunched in the jaws of the hound.

 

* * *

 

Hawke rose early, heading downstairs with silent steps despite the old inn’s creaking floors.  The innkeeper stared at her in surprise, then handed over a letter, his palm ready and waiting.  A silver was a steep price, but she paid it gladly.  As glad as she was about anything, these days.

The letter was surprisingly short.  It startled her for a moment.  She’d expected more after such a long delay from her last letter.

Still, though, it was enough.

 

> _Min,_
> 
> _You could never be weak._
> 
> _One person can’t fix two on their own.  If there’s nothing left, you know my answer._
> 
> _You deserve to be happy, sparrow._
> 
> _Varric_

 

She nodded.  The tears started, stinging in her eyes and the back of her throat.  She’d known the answer since before the Chantry, before smoke and flame and ash in the streets of her city.  She’d known, deep down, that the Anders she loved had been gone such a long time.

But knowing it now still took her breath away.

 

* * *

 

“Anders,” she said, standing by the window, dawnlight bright on the backs of her hands, on the wooden floor.

His hair looked golden in it, some kind of glorious halo.  His mouth thinned when he noticed the look on her face.  She realized she must be difficult to see.  The sun’s fierceness burned all around her.

“Min, love.”  He knew.  She saw it.

“I can’t,” she said, and her voice cracked, glass shattering in her throat.  “You always warned me.  You always told me.  I’m so sorry.  You – you were right, after all.”

His hollow, broken gaze.  Her hands taking his, shaking in the dawnlight.  Tears bitter on his shoulder, on hers; the ending of their years together was a fragile, shivering relief.

 

* * *

 

Molossus woofed at her side, a comfort on the forest path.  Her daggers were familiar at her belt, her pack a steady weight on her back.  She paused for a moment at the crest of the hill, turning back to gaze at the inn’s shadow.  It was only a smudge on the horizon, now.

She would always love him.  For that, she was grateful.

Molossus nudged her with his muzzle, then looked up at her expectantly, tail wagging.  Hawke nodded.  “Just you and me now, old friend,” she said.  He barked, then danced ahead of her, frisking to and fro.  Such a good boy, trying to help her feel better.

She reached down to her hip, patting the half-started letter folded in her pocket.  The ink was probably smudged now, but that was all right.  She didn’t think the recipient would mind.

 

> _Varric,_
> 
> _I think I’m going to be all right._

 

The parchment crinkled as she followed the Mabari, her feet light on the path, her pack solid against her shoulders.

Despite herself, she smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Written with "Rules" by Jayme Dee and "Seaside" by Haux in mind. So much angst.


End file.
